guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
