i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
