how hairy? two words: wookie tits
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
