Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
