Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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