well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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