hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Randomize
