I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
