like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
