Ambien. No doubt about it.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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