38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
