i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize