He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
