I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
