It's just like the Real World with babies
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
