So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
