I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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