No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
