I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
