there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
