Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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