whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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