operation have a gay friend backfired
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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