Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
