I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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