Only a mothe r could love this liver
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
