I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
