God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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