in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
