What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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