I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
