you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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