She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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