Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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