if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I want to stick my p in your. b.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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