ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
