just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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