you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
