I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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