ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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