Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
