I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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