Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
