Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
