ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i already hear my dad disowning me
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
