I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
