whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
