she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
