You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Of course I have a pirate flag
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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