...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
