i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I will be naked everywhere
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
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