whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
