Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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