Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
