They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
