You work out of a Hotel?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
