jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
